Helping you to write a resume.

If you are desperately looking for a housewife or especially a part time job to earn some money, writing a resume is very important. So, I am going to teach you HOW to NOT write one.

For example:

Objectives: Exceptionally assiduous, aspiration-oriented, unfeasibly accomplished honourable servant and vastly persistent instinct to execute constant perserverance without excessive use of thesaurus, although this fastidious species has been wiped out millions of years ago.

Skills: "Fluent in both English and Spinach"

"Excellent memory; Strong Maths aptitude; Excellent memory."

"Sble to ty pe witjout looking at thekeyboard"

"The ability to multi-task on the internet, Mark says: "Hi John!"

John says: "Hang-on, I'm bueno-ing!"

"Excelled in the art of walking"

Employment history:

First job: "Fortune-cookie writer. Very fortunate to have the job although suffered a few minor

burns from cokie creams"

Job before that:"UFO for a holesaler of women's slacks. We also sold bikini bottom."

And before that:"Have been working in store's men's department, stalking shirts and pants."

First job:"Worked in an unemployed office. Has plenty of experience being unemployed."

Interests: "Studying of dinosaurs"

"Gossiping"

Education: "Moron university"

"Attended collage courses"