The referee suddenly came to the half court line and started to dance. It was then that I realized it was that gay referee that I loved most! He often does stupid things and act as if he was a woman. He went up to me and hypnotized me. Soon, i was in deep sleep. The referee suddenly came to the half court line and started to dance. It was then that I realized it was that gay referee that I loved most! He often does stupid things and act as if he was a woman. He went up to me and hypnotized me. Soon, i was in deep sleep.
Soon after, I woke up. "Beep!" I was lucky that I was able to wake up just in time to play the match. I saw my opponent with a screwed-up face, Park Ji Sung, in possession of the ball and running towards me. He did a high lob shot and I dodged, thinking it was a cannonball which I was dreaming about just now. Before I had a chance to come back to my senses, the crowd roared. Holding my breath, I looked behind. A ball was nestled comfortably in the bottom of the goal-net. I heard the commentator, who happened to be my son, says, "Park Ji Sung has just scored the fastest goal in history so far in the 99 years of records! He has a fast foot indeed, scoring just 6 seconds afetr kick-off!" I was sweating-my team mates were swearing at me.
I then realized that I was not in a dream. I perked up and focused my energy. I was so angry at Park Ji Sung(Park Tie Haa's son) that the adrenaline produced forced me to dribble the ball in the opponent's net. I ran and ignored my team mate's call and I fell and the ball hit my balls. I forced myself to stand up and saw the opponents' goalkeeper, Buffon, laughing till he died. I took the opportunity to and used my head to roll the ball into the net. It was then I saw the scoreboard as 2-0! Suddenly, time froze. Everybody was standing in their previous position and they were not moving. the referee and I was the only persons who could move.
I freaked out. The referee told me that he was an immortal and he was capable of making the opponent's goals as mine. That explained the phenomenon of the scoreboard showing a score of 2-0 instead of 1-1. My team was winning! As a gift from me, I gave him 1 US dollar and then he unfroze the time. I allowed the opponent's tem to score as much goal as they like and ignored my team mates' angry shouts and curses. They did not know about the secret between me and the referee, and we longed for the match to end too see their surprised faces. My coach and manager, Faggotson, was so angry with me that he pointed obscene gestures and forces me to be substituted with Ballack as goalkeeper. Then, the referee helped me. I saw him freezing time and gave Faggotson 5 punches and a 540 roundhouse flying kick in the face. He then goes back into his previous position and unfroze time again so that no one would wonder why a man could suddenly disappear and appear again.
I saw Faggotson lying dead with blood mixed with lotus bun he had been eating just now. When everybody was panicking, 90 minutes was up. I looked at the scoreboard and it was 22-0! My team mates looked at it in both amazement and excitement. Suddenly, my team mates carried me high up in the air as if they had forgotten what happened at the match. What confused me is that all my opponents did not even mutter a word but had their heads hung low instead.
The next day, I saw myself on the telecast of the match on my newly bought plasma TV from Courts., and what I saw made me puke exactly one litre blood. All of the 22 goals was scored by me, a goalkeeper, and my skills were better thn Ronaldinho plus Cristiano and all the soccer players multiplied by 60million. I got pass 10 opponents without even one accidental blunder and very one of the 22 goals I scored was spectacular and unbelievable. One of the less exciting goals was a high-flip-flap-step-over-sealing dribble goal. That was impossible for any legendary players or aliens to do. I started to feel guilty about the mistake and pondered over how such crazy things can happen to me.
The following week, I cannot bear my own guilt any longer and I resolved to tell this to the media.
Just two days afetr I revealed the truth, the referee came to my house and killed me.
Such is life, after being killed my a time-stopping gay. Anyway.....*gasp*...before I die*gasp*, I must *gasping* tell you the website where you can *GASPING* find all my inc...redible g...o...a...ls....., www......S87y39nr3yuji.youtubewatch...*Gaspi...*...there-is actually-no-such-website.com.haha.sg*Gone*~~~
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